From Couch To Spartan Sprint – Exercise 6

Like so many great things in life the answer is books, big piles of books.


You can train your grip strength by gripping anything really but wider is better because you’re using real squeezing force generated by muscles rather than curling something in your fingers and letting gravity play a part.

Really almost all exercise is about working against gravity as obtrusively as you can, now that I think about it. So be difficult in your battle against gravity, taunt it.

Look at me gravity, I’m doing pull ups, temporarily escaping your hold on my earthly body. Oh gravity you’d like to pull this stack of books from my hand but my mighty forearms prevent you, ha ha.

It’s okay, be a weirdo. It’ll make training better.

My Half Of An Argument On Why If You Don’t Like Running Something Is Wrong With You

The Bros and I were talking after squash the other day and one of them disagreed with me that human beings are wired to enjoy running and if you don’t it’s because something is blocking that enjoyment.

I know what you’re thinking; how goddamn dare he and I’m obviously right. Thank you for thinking that, everybody.

Naturally the discussion didn’t end when we got off the train and fist-bumped our good byes, it rattled on and on in my head every day since. I talk to myself about it while running.

And that’s how blogs are born. That’s the blog-stork in action.

So here’s my thesis statement that if you disagree with you’re wrong: Going back, back back in human history til it’s pre-human history and you find the earliest possible things that we could identity with and they would eat, fuck, and run. Run from predators and after prey, run to survey ground, run to play as growing young like the young of all species use play to develop adult skills. And they’d ‘enjoy’ those things in the evolutionary sense because being better at them and doing them more would pass on one’s genes. That’s all we’d have in common. We’d otherwise look different, smell different, fear different things, whatever.

Let’s look at the other two things on the list, eating and sex. Starting with sex because. Everyone has sexual expression (if one wanted to argue that not loving running was as anomalous as asexuality I’d accept) and if someone has blockage between themselves and that expression we assume it’s trauma or shame or physical ailment.

Whatever your thing is for sex a progressive society basically wants you to have it. There’s surely a chat room for you at least. If droves of people were saying I hate sex, it’s just not for me we’d try to help them get to a purer, unadulterated, expression of their sexual selves. We want you to grow into a healthy sexual expression and if someone messes that up for you bad enough we put them in jail.

With athletic self expression we’re like yeah some people just don’t like it. And if cruel coaches and jocks and negligent parents warp what could be a healthy and enjoyable expression for you, no one goes to jail or is even shunned.

My completely moderate opinion is that if you ruin someone’s relationship to their body in any way we should bring back stoning.

As a society we’re more likely to mock someone for being overly athletic or a health nut than not athletic at all (fat shaming being a totally different issue because I’m talking about mockery not cruelty, fat shamers should also be stoned). That’s like saying wow you’re too comfortable with your sexuality and knowing how to communicate it with your partners, ho ho, cocktail party laughter.

And Food. The other thing we all have to engage with and enjoy. People have different preferences you say, just like some people don’t like avocados some people might not like running and that’s not a flaw that’s diversity.

But we’re not different or diverse underneath and that’s my actual point. Our bodies all have wants and needs built in. We all need protein, some fats, and basically the same vitamins to not die. You don’t have scurvy for the same reason I don’t have scurvy, no preferences involved. The expression of how you don’t get scurvy is up to you and can be a preference but not your body’ desire to not get scurvy.

Your body has a desire to move, built in from an ancient history of running, that is as real as it’s desire not to get scurvy. Now maybe your expression isn’t marathon running but even if it’s climbing (which is really extreme, vertical, running) or dancing (which is running made symbolic and pointless) the underlying evolutionary drive toward it is real and is in everyone unless they have a dysfunction that we should be striving to alleviate.

This has been my perfectly reasonable rant on the subject so I can go on with my life.