Running had felt so piss lately. I love running and when it feels bad, I feel bad.
I actually end up running more, too much in fact, when running sucks and that makes it suck more. It’s like being an alcoholic where you want to drink because you want to be happy but drinking makes you unhappy and you know it; still the only signal your brain gives you is the drink to be happy signal.
When I have a bad run the only thing I think will fix how I feel is a good run.
And it finally happened. I owe it to work, strava, and unexpected solitude.
So work because I went to went to my job as a running instructor today; Unexpected solitude no one showed up to run club; and Strava because even though no one showed up I figured I’d run anyway so people would see that I had run and I’d log this route that I’d been wanting to show off.
And with my worn out shoes, shin splints, piriformus syndrome, and unsatisfactory cardio (because it’s the start of the season and my expectations are set by the end of the last season) my running was piss. My legs hurt, my form sucked, my breathing sucked but why stop? I’m on the clock, have nothing better to do, and Strava is recording so fuck it.
And like I said, it finally happened that I broke through. Probably 3k into the 5k(ish) run my legs loosened up and I felt free – I got that running-fast-breathing-slow-meditative-feeling-the-music-connected-to-the-earth-and-the-sun-freedom-feeling that we chase.
Quite a relief.