I Like Being On The Monday To Friday Diet

‘Round here we took our dietary advice from Tim Ferris who’s dietary advice was basically cyclical keto. It’s all boiled down to no carbs during the week.

Weekday eating is so pragmatic and typically joyless anyway that it doesn’t matter. And to be clear – I like things that are pragmatic and joyless… they bring me joy.

When we’re busy the only reason we eat is to make hunger go away because it’s wrecking our ability to be busy. I say go with it. Foods that promise to be pleasurable hasty lunches or breakfast are lies anyways; marketers trying to take the edge off the capitalist dehumanization you’re subjecting yourself to.

And then in the vast minority of your time that is the weekend you’re allowed – dare I say encouraged – to eat leisurely. Which is why we all end up fucking binging.

And again – I like it. It’s a way to eat with no thinking, no wondering, no tracking, no deprivation.

Coming off a weekend of joyfully eating whatever we want I’m looking forward to Monday and starting to get back on track – like I want to feel healthful again – and by Friday I’m looking forward some treats and some variety.

And in between I feel good, I feel on the path. Stringing together a few days – just a couple – of eating right and working out does wonders. At first I think it takes a whole week to feel good but the longer you live this way the quicker the effect happens. I always do the same exercise at the end of every workout and it’s become a ritual time to think. Monday it’s always yep, back on the path and by Thursday I’m thinking that I’ve really made progress, I’m really earning something.

And I’m thinking about it right now because this week I almost messed it up.

I ate a lot of very indulgent foods very late Sunday night and decided that I’d fast for a while rather than get immediately back on my routine. Throwing off my meal times threw off my work out times and by the 16 hour mark the sun was down (thanks Canadian winter) and I felt like skipping my work out. And skipping everything I was supposed to be doing.

But I didn’t because it’s only okay to put something off if I’m going to do something more important, not less. Spending even more time on YouTube is not more important than getting in a work out – especially the first one of the week.

So I did the work out even though I didn’t feel like it and I ate even though I didn’t feel like it and that little sense of being on the path crept in. Next day I jumped out of bed and banged out everything I had to do right away. Gleefully. Fully back on the path clearheaded I’ve strung together the rest of the week feeling great. By mid week I am lean and routine.

It’s going to take 3 or 4 days of work to counteract 2 days of indulgence and I can understand people getting into spirals of discouragement about that but long-term sustainability is what matters. I’ve lived like this for 3 years and I’ve got the most muscle and least fat of my life – even if on Sunday nights and Monday mornings I sometimes feel I went too far and threw it all away that isn’t objectively true.

And sometimes on Wednesdays and Thursdays I think I’m strong enough and happy enough to never need indulgences and I could stay on the routine unwavering forever and I know that isn’t objectively true either.


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