The Things You Do Right Now Will Someday Be The Reason You’re Dying

So me and all my life long friends are now within striking distance of being 40 year old men. And as much as we still talk like young fatalists it’s no longer statistically true that death is out there and going to arrive suddenly some random day in the undiscovered country of the distant future; no it’s almost certain that our deaths are with us right now in the form of our behaviour and someday a doctor will be telling us our chance of survival in numerical percentage and we will flash back to right now.

Everybody, especially dudes, relies on the ‘fact’ that you could get hit by a bus and by implication die as a way of pretending that death is just a roulette wheel that’s always spinning and all causes and likelihoods are equal.

And when you’re young that’s actually true. Young men die in accidents and by violence a lot but once you’re north of 35 it starts to narrow and narrow and generally now there a just 4 things we are likely to die of: Heart disease, Cancer, Alzheimer’s, and Metabolic disease. Each of those things covers a wide range in themselves but it all amounts to one thing – we are going to be informed by a doctor in a office when we are officially, really for real, dying. And they will explain the things that we’ve been doing for years or done all our lives that are causing it.

Somethin’ to look forward to.

Don’t Start Your Diet & Exercise At The Same Time

Diet and exercise, Diet and exercise, Diet and exercise, for advice-givers of all tiers diet & exercise is the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

And when you’re up and inspired to get your shit together diet and exercise are two piles of shit you’re going to want to put in your shit backpack. But, importantly, they are not the same pile of shit.

They go hand-in-hand, they’re symbiotic, there’s no point in having one without the other but don’t think you need to perfect both all at once when it’s motivation time.

Why?

  1. The bigger the change the more likely the change back. If you become your best self (TM) all at once you will most likely give up being your best self all once as well.
  2. You don’t know shit about either thing and learning both at once will seem overwhelming
  3. Your image of eating right (TM) is not eating. From just cutting out sugar to full blown sufferfest joyless broccoli and rice every meal, people always think good eating is about what you don’t eat

And that’s where the worst shit happens. For one, if you’re working out, and especially if you’re new to working out, you need to be fueling up. You don’t take on a bunch of new duties at work then also take a huge pay cut or lose a bunch of staff. More work requires more power to do the work and in this case it’s eating that powers the work. People think it’s all about grit because grit is a character trait you can tell yourself you’ll have when you need it but grit will not turn a good work out into bigger muscles, only food does that.

And for the junk food that you know you should give up anyway? It’ll go away on it’s own later, I promise. In the meantime don’t give up something that brings you comfort when you’re taking on something that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Once you’re working out a lot you’ll have to start eating more foods that are ‘good’ because they’re beneficial (fats, fibre, and protein) rather than ‘good’ because they’re engineered to be tempting (i.e, carbs in colourful package), plus you’ll notice what makes your body actually feel good as opposed to just that it feels good to get something that’s tempting. I’ve seen it in myself – the best a package of cookies will ever make you feel is when they’re in your cart at the grocery store it’s all subtle disappointment after that.

But that’s a concern for the future, like I said if you’re new to working out and you’re used to eating lots of cookies go ahead and keep eating lots of cookies. If people were only allowed to do things the best and smartest way possible we’d never be able to start anything.

Beginners & Training To Failure

I shifted my mindset on something recently and I’m going to try and talk it out:

I love training to failure, pretty sure all fitness people love training to failure. And it makes sense because the brain releases a lot of endorphins when you train to failure – it thinks you just survived some massive fight-or-flight situation and wants to switch into recovery mode to deal with the fatigue and muscle damage you just accumulated.

But of course we don’t know that’s what we’re feeling even if we know that’s what we’re feeling. That neurological state merely exists and we put narrative words to it – we move from merely feeling good to feeling good about ourselves. We feel hardcore, we feel strong, we feel primal, we feel like real lifters.

This is the root of the problem with training to failure. It can feel like the only thing that makes a work out legit. Training smarter not harder can feel like not training at all. When you empty the tank you really know you did something – even if what you did is technically worse for the outcome you’re after.

Because, yes, the current state of play in exercise science is that training to failure builds up a tremendous amount of fatigue and injury risk for very little increase in muscle mass. You’re better off over the long haul doing sets to near failure so you can get in more sets of effective reps. Because after a set to failure you’re in the land of diminishing returns. But if you can stay out of the land of diminishing returns, just stay on the doorstep, you can get another set of effective volume in.

But this is supposed to be about beginners so lets get back on track. For beginners there’s no need to be training to failure at all because you’re going to get great stimuli off any exercise sheerly because it’s novel. Plus safety concerns and yada yada yada. The reason that everyone recommends beginners do a little bit of failure training is to know what failure really feels like. To know how much space there actually is between when a weight gets tough to move and when it doesn’t move. Because that golden zone of effectiveness is when you can get two more reps but you know you can’t get three.

I was recently thinking about another reason noobs should TTF and it’s, duh, the same reason that we all do it – it feels great. I was taking someone through some beginner work recently and it was light weights and safety focused and designed to work on the downsides of their desk job and – it really made working out feel like just another chore.

As an analogy – it’s like when you go to learn guitar and they insist on teaching you jingle bells, just 5 notes on two strings at too-slow a pace. And they insist this is beginner stuff and learning this is fundamental to all the cool stuff you’ll get to do later and then you quit guitar lessons. The best way to teach people is to teach them what they want to learn and then work backwards into the fundamentals. Let them have fun just because you should let them have fun but also because that’s what keeps them coming back and doing the work and building the habit.

If I could do it again, which I can, I’d say basically listen we’re gonna do all the smart, correct stuff a little bit later and I’ll explain why it’s smart and correct and why you need to be doing it but first let’s just take a day and bro out doing bench press and deadlifts. Lots of rest between sets, lots of form correction, but ultimately just work up to doing a set to failure.

And, this could be good for some clients, changing what failure means to them. Because it’s so different for us, we happy few who have been fitnessing years. A beginner might feel like I’m here to lift weights and here’s this weight I can’t lift, this reflects on me, I am a failure. Whereas for us it’s such a joyful thing, the way it reflects on our character to be failing a lift is that it makes us stronger, it’s shows our grit, it shows courage and control. It’s so great to get into that failing state and think this is the part that matters and then fight to stay there as long as possible.

As I’m writing this, and drinking coffee, I’m getting amped up. I could go do some failure sets right now. Just get on the bench and push weight up until you get that first sticky one (because, for anyone who hasn’t done it, the middle of an exercise is the toughest part. So you start the rep, go through molasses, then finish strong and lower under control) and you know the next one is going to be it. You get into that sticky spot and it’s just nope. Like god came and put their hands on the weights and they are not rising. Then you just stay there. And you’re pushing with everything you have just to make them stay still and you gotta even fight your own mind that’s giving you little bursts of fear as your body digs into adrenal reserves just so you can keep fighting this impossible battle. Against god.

Then another couple breaths and you lower them onto your chest and sit up. And you do a big exhale, you smile, you tell god good game, good game. You feel like you really did something and now it’s okay to rest.

Fitspo

No idea who this random guy is or who took this photo, I saw it because it comes up if you’re searching for ‘men’s tank top fashion’, but man this is so exactly how I aspire to look.

Except the glasses, I guess, and maybe the gold chain but even that’s kind of winning me over.

But really if I was going to pick someone to be my Fitspo idol (I should explain that Fitspo is a jokey internet term for Fitness Inspiration) I’ve discovered it’s Marlon Brando in Street Car:

Tank top tucked in again… still can’t imagine doing that. I can’t imagine tucking any shirt really unless I’m wearing a suit.

But yeah when I saw this photo (on that same google search just looking at photos of guys in tank tops to see how I might accessorize when I wear one – and yes it’s embarrassing to type that) I was instantly struck by it. Like, if I were still a teenager I’d be walking around for a week wondering if I was gay because of this photo.

And after seeing this photo was when I was like oh god, I thought I was doing fashion but I’m actually doing Fitspo! I’m susceptible to Fitspo and must die. Which is how I react to absolutely everything I think typical people do. I google-image-search tattoos and fashion and most of the photos I see are from pinterest but the idea that I would ever go on pinterest is like the idea I’d ever shit on a dinner plate.

But after looking at Brando I looked at a bunch of modern celebrities shirtless photos and typical Fitspo stuff and was never impressed. So I think a big part of it is just that it’s Brando in Streetcar and it’s got massive classic cool vibes. And I was thinking he must simply have, by genetics, the perfect shoulder-to-hip ratio or something like that but the all-knowing internet couldn’t tell him Brando’s measurements at time of filming.

And that’s the story of how I enjoyed looking at pictures and then thought for a week about how I enjoyed looking at pictures.

Exercise Can Cause Depression Too

On every list of how to improve your sleep, health, skin, mental illness, whatever, you will always see ‘moderate exercise’.

What’s moderate? It’s the amount where it doesn’t feel like you really did anything. I was working out moderately for a while – about 45 minutes, 5 days a week. And it felt great so I did more of it. Soon it was 90 minutes a day, 6 days a week. Then it was time to start running season again and recently I wound up exercising for 3 hours at a time.

And it wasn’t moderate intensity either. I found the emotional benefits of exercise really kick in when you take an exercise to failure. For some who might not know what failure means – you know how if you’re bench-pressing your on your back pushing weight upward, eventually there will come a rep where you can’t fully extend your arms, that’s failure, that is a failed rep. And if you want to really work out you gotta get there and stay there as long as possible.

And it sounds awful when I writing about it and imagining non-fitness people reading it but it’s actually the best feeling. It’s where the drugs are. Taking an exercise to failure and holding it there for 4 deep breathes causes your body to get so stressed out it releases a wave of endorphins you get you through whatever traumatic life and death struggle it thinks you’re going through.

So I did it obsessively. I kept upping and upping the duration and intensity of my workouts to try and feel better.

There’s also a thing called Overtraining Syndrome, you basically fry your nervous system and your hormones, and one of it’s symptoms is depression.

And it’s a very literal feeling of depression – of being pressed down and being underneath something. Because, yeah, your body is down-regulating and wants this level of stress to stop.

But if you get depressed all the time regardless and you’re working out to try and alleviate that depression you’ve got a recipe for just digging yourself further and further into the hole. And it defeats the other purpose of working out too – getting bigger – because your muscles actually get smaller when they accumulate a lot of damage and don’t get to adequately rest and repair. Which again drives people to work out more, not less, thinking they have to go harder to keep getting gains.

What tipped me off though that something was wrong was falling asleep during the day. Like, I’m almost 40 I’ve been taking afternoon naps pretty regularly but I noticed the urge was getting stronger and stronger, to the point I was just lying down on the floor where ever I was and going immediately into a deep and dreamless sleep that was more disorienting than refreshing.

Eventually I was like, man this is not napping this is passing out. But still I was thinking it must be some other serious medical issue and couldn’t be that I was training too hard because training is good for you, more training equal more good.

Then one day by coincidence I worked out much earlier than normal and had my afternoon nap at 11am – a time when I’m still chugging coffee and usually doing stuff. That’s what got me searching and let me see if I can track down any of the good videos I saw:

^this one’s great for being really direct – he gets read the question is it normal to fall asleep after workouts and he immediately says “no.”

And here’s me talking about it for the people who haven’t seen what I look like in a hundred years:

For people who don’t want to eat ‘too much’ meat

This train of thought came from being asked what I’d tell someone who wants to get enough protein but simply “doesn’t like to eat a lot of meat.”

So the first thing is, I imagine a sliding scale of what people think of when we talk about meat. I know someone who says they don’t eat ‘much’ meat and eats chicken two meals a day. There is, although illogical, a different intuition about red meat so maybe someone who doesn’t like a lot of meat just means they don’t want to eat red meat while chicken and fish are still fine.

Which is good because I, notoriously, think everyone should eat a can of sardines daily. Selenium, calcium, vitamin D, B12, and 20 grams of protein – sardines are the best multi-vitamin there is. Chicken… meh, take it or leave it.

Now, if you want to eat a lot of fish you need to eat a lot of small fish. Hence sardines. The ocean is a toxic shit-hole and heavy metals are cumulative – small fish contain a bit of mercury from the water while big fish contain a lot of mercury because they eat numerous little fish.

And lastly you have to decide how you feel about dairy and eggs. If your concerns about meat are ethical then you should give up eggs and cheese too because the animals producing those aren’t treated any better than animals that are slaughtered. Factory farms are also toxic shit-holes. The world is mostly toxic shit-holes all the way down.

Eggs contain a lot of good stuff though, I should say. Eggs are really good for you and if your concerns aren’t ethical, and you aren’t egg intolerant which is a real thing, then go for it. Keep some peeled hard-boiled eggs in water on hand as a snack.

Now, I think people should be having a vegan protein shake every day regardless of if they eat red meat, white meat, fish, eggs, or are totally vegan. Most adults are losing muscle every year, most concerns about getting too much protein actually come from nitrates and fats from animal products, and plant-based proteins are also going to contain fibre – also a thing people commonly lack – so a vegan shake is just another good daily thing.

And if you are, or want to be, fully vegan and don’t want to have shakes then be prepared to eat A LOT of food. Huge bowls of lentils, chickpeas, beans, lots of nuts and seeds. You know what vegan and eats to support muscle? Cows. You know what cows do all day? Chew.

So to summarize: Decide what meat you don’t want to eat, prioritize fish if you do want to eat meat, get a B12 supplement if you don’t, have a vegan protein shake regardless.

I guess I should say something about taste too. The thing is, taste only matters if you’re eating for taste, if you’re eating for health and you don’t like how something tastes then just eat it faster. Scurvy don’t care if you don’t like limes, sailor. Fish taste like fish and vegan food tastes like a soccer field, even if you truly truly hate it it’s still just 3 minutes out of your whole day.

Making My Own Dip Bar Set From The Hardware Store

I’ve wanted some of these for a while. For dips because I’m working on my chest and for inverted rows because I imagine them being sooo satisfying.

So here’s the store bought version that I wagered, correctly, would cost more than I really wanted to pay for them:

And sure enough, I looked up the price and thought yeah, there’s no way they’re worth that.

And here’s what I wound up after a trip to the hardware store:

And what were the costs…?

Store bought: 139.99 (after tax 146.99)

Home made: 140.47

Greatest. Economic. Mind. Of. Our. Time.

They feel a teeny tiny bit unstable and they make your hands black even though I’ve wiped them down a bunch already but, you know what, I love the way they look and feel and it was so fun to make them. I would have resented the 140 bucks I’d spent on the ugly store bought ones whereas I feel quite nice about the 140 I spent for the ugly homemade ones.

How To Give Someone A Fitness Mentality

I’d love it if that title was more of a statement than a question but it’s really not. Hopefully as I talk this out we’ll get somewhere.

I never needed to be ‘given’ the fitness mentality. In 2016 I saw The School Of Life video that said good intellectuals take care of their bodies because the body takes care of the mind and I was like yeah, makes sense and started a morning exercise routine with the intent to take up running in the morning when winter was over.

I tell people that I’ve always been a runner, I just didn’t start running until my 30s.

And I really started. I got my running gear, laid it out before bed each night and ran every morning. Never skipped a run. Even as I made every beginner mistake possible I just researched more rather than ever take a break.

I heard the saying about how exercise shouldn’t be viewed as a punishment for you ate but a celebration of what your body can do and I thought exactly. That articulated exactly how I felt. I feel celebratory when exercise.

But I was working with someone the other day who evidently does not feel that way. The moment the different mentalities clicked for me was when we were going through some motions to detect whether they had an injury or not, they said “how many reps do I do?” and I said “As many as you want.” Because we weren’t trying to build muscle or anything we just trying to see what hurt, and they said “I don’t want to do any.”

I can only imagine wanting to know if I’m injured and being relieved to find out I’m not, in that situation. I can’t imagine any other way of feeling. I can’t imagine thinking that finding out I’m hurt and learning what I can do about it is a chore.

I think this is why a lot of people come to fitness only after a health scare of some kind. It makes the necessity real. A lot of people wish they fit; wish they were strong, fast, good looking, ‘healthy’ but that wish goes away every time what it actually takes sinks in. It’s only when they feel like they’re losing something that they’ll work against that loss.

Just like how people feel much more negatively about losing $100 than they feel positively about gaining $100. If people had to pay even a dollar to opt out of a marathon we’d see a million more runners overnight.

But I’m straying from the train of thought… The thing is, without a health scare of some kind, can you induce a love of fitness in someone who doesn’t have it?

Because people will never get there by feeling bullied. If shaming worked we wouldn’t have any fat people or drug addicts or cheaters or politicians. Shame has been tried, it’s been the only thing tried in our entire modern cultural history and things have exclusively gotten worse.

Daniel O’Brien long ago pitched the idea that gyms should have a beginner’s night. A time to go in and see what you can figure out without feeling like you’re in someone else’s space. And I think the answer is somewhere in that thought.

I think the best thing a person can do is a buy a medium kettle bell and try to learn everything they can do with it. That exploration, I think, would be fun and encouraging, and eventually they’d have a collection of exercises they liked doing which would get through the first humps and later they’d be invested enough to find what holes they were leaving in their regime.

This does lead to another beginner – or pre-beginner – problem I’ve seen though… Instead of moving goal posts some people keep moving the start line. There’s something they need to buy or some specific event that needs to pass, or someone else who’s supposed to show them or join them, and then they’ll get started. But once that thing is bought or that date comes or things ‘slow down’ it’s not suddenly any easier and resolve fades away.

It’s just so natural to reward yourself for what you’re going to do that when it comes times to do it it doesn’t feel good.

I think there’s another tip hidden in there, too. Don’t tell anyone what you’re going to do. Just tackle it privately and seriously and wait to let other people notice on their own.

That’s something that worked for me. One of my stated goals when I started hitting the gym was for someone in the change room at work to say “Ooh, you’ve been working out.”

And it worked. I got to the point where I could tell I had some gains and felt like it’s gonna happen any day now… and then it did. And it took basically nothing, just a couple months of consistency and I took my physique from worse-than-average to average but people notice the change more than they care about the objective result.

Ugh, I keep describing the fitness mentality, which I’ve covered before, but not gotten any closer to the idea of how to instill it in someone.

Like, I have the feeling that I’ve built something and am continuing to build something so consistency is easy. What do you do with people who’s self assessment is only a feeling of loss, a feeling that they used to be thinner; used to be more energetic, used to be whatever and now they feel like are just something less than they used to be. It’s just like people in debt who feel it’s not worth it to climb out because they’re just climbing back to baseline not actually gaining anything.

And you can tell people “This will get worse if you ignore it.” and they’ll say they know but ignoring it will feel just that little bit better than starting to deal with it and admitting how big or journey it really feels like; and how scared you are you might not be able to do it.

So the question is really what takes away that big road block?

Running Analogies I Never Get To Use At The Store

This is just the shit that rolls around in my head all day.

  • Imagine stepping off a 4ft counter onto the hardwood floor. What would you do? Instinctively you’d land on the balls of your feet with flexed ankles and bent knees. That’s your body’s shock absorbers. Now, imagining landing on your heels with your knees locked. How much cushion you would want in order to do that? Is there any amount that you think would make that feel good? No? That’s why no amount of cushion in your shoes is going to protect your joints. Your joints protect themselves if you let them.
  • Do you know the story of Cornflakes? A hundred years ago a guy thought bland food would cure masturbation and thirty years after that his nephew added tons of sugar so people would buy more. That’s it. That’s the whole billion dollar cereal industry and all the options you see in the super market. That’s also why modern running shoes are high heeled and max cushioned – weird assholes with dumb ideas start companies and then the priority is finding a way to make them appealing.
  • Everybody runs different? Sure, every car is different too but if your wheels are angling inward or outward and fighting against the efficient movement of the car, you don’t just say “Oh that’s just how she goes.” You fix whatever is misaligned. And not from the tires up but from the driver down.
  • And while we’re on the topic of Everybody Runs Different, don’t you find it just fucking quirky that only people with money for fancy science-magic shoes are afflicted with the problems cured by fancy science-magic shoes? God smited all the middle-class white women with dreaded over-pronation and not a single Kenyan school child, huh? Didn’t know Kenyan school kids were Moses’ chosen people on running shoe Passover.
  • If you tell me you need a Phillips Head Screwdriver…. and I pass you a Phillips Head Screwdriver… Don’t go “eww” then push it away and ask me if I have any other recommendations. If you want a fashion screwdriver go to the fashion screwdriver store.
  • Okay, a thing that happens every single day: People feel a bit embarrassed coming to a running store and saying they don’t run so, out of a dead silence, they’ll defiantly announce how far they walk or how long they’re on their feet for work. Which… fine. We need more people to think of themselves as athletes in the sport of normal life. The thing is, they’ll follow it up by saying they therefore need a shoe with tons of support and cushion. If you’re so proud of your damn bike why are you shopping for training wheels, tiger? I’ll happily work with someone who’s like “I’m a squishy little wuss and need all the help I can get” but I can’t tolerate some self-declared badass who’s suddenly all “Can you stwain the pulp from my owange juice?”

Okay, that wasn’t really an analogy and I’m getting dangerously close to just bitching about work so I’ll wrap it up. The funny thing is, I wrote this post because I used an analogy at work today and my co-worker was like “Will you write that down for me?” And when I opened this document to start I mentally couldn’t find a clue as to what I’d said to him earlier. So there’s more in there somewhere.

I Still Worry I’m A shoespirasist

I wrote a while ago about checking my confirmation bias and I feel compelled to rehash that before I start: I put up a poster in the store which references some studies about how pronation control shoes do nothing, max cushion shoes are hurting you, the usual barefoot zealot type stuff, and I realized that’s typical confirmation bias – I found what I wanted and then stopped looking.

So I looked some more and I found hundreds of studies confirming what I think. Well, one hundred fifty eight.

But what bugs me is I couldn’t find any “other side”. Not for running shoes anyway, I got into a rabbit hole of learning about tennis shoes and they made a pretty good case for orthopedics having performance benefits. (Here’s that link. Also this guy has a video where he buys one of Serena William’s shoes on eBay and buys the over the counter public version and cuts them in half to show the difference which is such pure shoe nerd I respect him forever.)

Even one of my go to shoetubers on the topic of heel drop was like shrug emoji. All the minimalist stuff makes sense to him but he still feels like cushion and heel are somehow normal. Like, they just have to be because otherwise why would most shoes have them? But also it’s worth pointing out that he’s had a ton of all the typical running injuries and had to learn exercises to correct them, not just buy more and more ‘supportive’ shoes.

Which brings me to the majority problem; the normalcy problem. Running is the only sport where a majority of participants report being injured every year. It’s weird to deflect to the idea of normal when the norm is injured.

Like, with smoking, everyone has some example of an uncle or someone who smoked a pack a day right up to the end and it never seemed like it was doing them any harm. The thing is the vast vast vast majority of smokers do see palpable harm and premature death from smoking so we can dismiss those anecdotes and say that smoking is definitively bad.

So here we are with most runners being injured and more and more of the gen pop having foot problems and kinetic chain problems and still everyone is like I guess we just need to smoke harder? Like, running injuries and foot problems have just gotten worse and worse since Nike debuted and took over the market and everyone had to copy them or go bankrupt but barefoot running is regarded as a niche trend that passed?

The thing is, particularly when it’s anonymous, anecdotal evidence still sways me. I worry that I’m the crazy one and I’ve just opted for certainty over… I want to say confusion but if I weren’t confused I wouldn’t be writing this post.

But you get it. It simplifies things to be dogmatic; To declare everything towards the center from me is just bullshit and never have to deal with any worry.

When anecdotal evidence isn’t anonymous though holy fuck am I elitist. I’ll get people in the store with feet that are just destroyed saying insoles relieved their Trinidadian cousin’s friend’s shin splints and I… I just die a little more inside.

Not everyone of course but it still shocks and disappoints me when I tell someone I can show them the stretches they can do for free and the much cheaper roller they could buy to surely solve their problem rather than a spend-and-hope, spending-is-solving, expensive-is-better strategy. And this is again where I sound like a conspiracy theorists because there is a dreaded they.

They want you to think expensive is better, they want you to be confused, they don’t want you to think you could solve your issues without them.

But really it’s that there’s 70+ shoes companies in an extremely competitive market and they’re all trying to make payroll by selling what sells. It’s like professional YouTubers – a sensational thumbnail and a clickbait title full of comments telling you you suck is, by the numbers, by the ad revenue, a better video than something sincere that’s totally true and useful but just a little dry.

It’s not evil to follow the sales numbers and worry about your employees feeding their kids.

And yet the thing is – this is me just turning into work venting now – people still get mad at me. In a personally impersonal way. I field complaints all the time where people tell me how much money they spent and their problem isn’t solved and I’m like I know! You spent your money dumbly like a dumb idiot and now you want my sympathy while you’re giving me attitude? Take my name down… ’cause you’re gonna be writing to customer service about me. I didn’t build the industry, I didn’t make the shoe or advertise the shoe, I didn’t chose the shoe to be in our corporate bullshit store, but sure act like the minimum wage employee you meet face-to-face is the author of all your pain. You righteous avenger, you.

I’ve already quit and everyday multiple times a day I wish I could quit again harder.

Anyway, anything left to say? Did I resolve anything for myself?

One thing I should mention that I don’t talk about enough is injury. Acute injury. If you just ruptured your Achilles, yeah, don’t get into barefoot shoes. Specific injuries, chronic and acute might have different specific needs. The problem is the gen pop has been deliberately mislead as to what’s an injury and what’s a weakness. A lot of things labeled as chronic injuries are in fact just weakness and you fix a weakness by getting stronger not by wrapping everything in a cast.

And because we’re talking about runners I have to say specifically I do not mean mental strength. Fighting through pain is being stupid not being strong. Being strong is your body being able to flourish when doing what you ask of it, not ignoring it. Mentally, if you want to be tougher, be tougher; physically, if you have plantar fasciitis, learn to stretch your fucking calves. Let your body do the work in a controlled way, let it practice, so that it doesn’t catastrophically fail you when it’s suddenly tested.

This has just turned into full on self reinforcement. I’d prefer a post be self exploration that gets me somewhere new but I’ll also take something that makes me feel better about where I am.